i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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