Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
