Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
