Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
It's just like the Real World with babies
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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