I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I have tasted many bathrooms
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
