And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
