I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize