I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Found your dick twin last night
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
