i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
