he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
