Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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