I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
