maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
