There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
