As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize