MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
This baby is an asshole
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize