This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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