hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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