I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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