hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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