Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize