I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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