everyone is single if you try hard enough
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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