He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
