I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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