From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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