DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
