You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Text me some of your sweat
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
