My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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