Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?

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(804): View more from Virginia

If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.

(715): View more from Wisconsin

Worst stoner tragedy.

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(850): View more from Florida

We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.

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(734): View more from Michigan

So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?

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(231): View more from Michigan

I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.

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(415): View more from California

nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.

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