So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
