It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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