She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
