my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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