I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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