You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
