I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
