Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
