i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
