found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
