the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
