You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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