you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize