I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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