you guys were way drunker than both of me
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize