he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
