Dual....:-)
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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