we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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