So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
