I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
