dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
