So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You can't just leave with hair like that
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
