just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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