soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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