he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
