My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i've created a new STD.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
