if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
