yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I have surprise drugs for everyone
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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