does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
