you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
